Sowing our Tears

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Good morning. Good morning, everyone. We're going to be reading the scriptures during the sermon, so we're going to get right to it. Grace. My wife and I met in law school in New York, but we didn't seriously date until about a year after I graduated. She was in Minnesota, I, I was in LA, and I was spending about $500 a month in phone bills. This was before Internet, before unlimited phone plans. On every call, maybe almost every call, I would start the conversation by saying, hey, how are you? You want to get married? To which she responded, usually, thank you, or maybe later. It was one of those things that I said in every call. And then we just kind of went on with the conversation. But the one day she actually wanted me to ask, I didn't. I forgot for some reason. And then she said, aren't you going to ask me the question? I said, what question? How are you? No, she said, the other one. And I got all serious and said, you mean you want to get married? And she said, yes. And the answer is yes. And I was thrilled. And by the way, for you romantics out there, I didn't get away with a phone call proposal. I did a grand gesture later on. But at that time, this was the real thing. I was just so thrilled, I couldn't contain my joy. I remember going to my church small group that evening and sharing the joy, sharing the good news of this engagement. And they were thrilled with me. They rejoiced with me. There are times in, in our lives when we are just filled with joy. And that's how Psalm 126 starts. And they probably wrote this psalm when the captives returned from Babylon to Jerusalem. So let's read Psalm 126. When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with shouts of joy. Then it was said among them, among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them, the Lord has done great things for us, and we rejoice. But then they look around and saw the land, and it was desolate. It was hard. And the tone of the psalm changes in verse four. Restore our fortunes, O Lord. Like the watercourses in the Negev, which is in the south, the desert area. May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy. Those who go out weeping, bearing the seeds for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy. Carrying their sheaves, our emotions could change very quickly. Reality sinks in. Things get hard, relationships break, we lose work, we get sick, we're wounded. [00:04:02] Speaker B: We. [00:04:03] Speaker A: We don't just carry our own pain, but we're also broken by the suffering around us. We see violence, we see injustice against [00:04:14] Speaker B: immigrants, we see corruption, we see addiction, [00:04:20] Speaker A: racism, sexism, homophobia, war. There is pain all around us. So tears, in a way, are a natural reaction to the harshness of this world. Think about it. As we learn to love one another [00:04:42] Speaker B: more, we feel more, we do. [00:04:46] Speaker A: Our hearts become more tender and empathetic towards one another, towards the pain and suffering of one another. [00:04:55] Speaker B: And we weep more. [00:04:58] Speaker A: There was a person who loved more than anyone else, Jesus. And the scriptures tell us that he was a man of sorrow and familiar with suffering. [00:05:10] Speaker B: Jesus cried many times. [00:05:14] Speaker A: Love for our neighbors often leads to tears. [00:05:18] Speaker B: Love for our family members lead to tears. Love leads to tears. [00:05:25] Speaker A: And the reality of sinfulness and frailty of humanity leads to tears. So we should expect tears. That's our reality. The psalm goes on and teaches us not only to expect tears, but to sow our tears. Verse 5 says, May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy. This is a beautiful poetic image, the image of planting or sowing our tears. If we sow our tears, tears will produce joy. There is a kind of joy that you get by avoiding tears, but there's also a kind of joy that you get through tears. I think there is a. I think this is a deeper kind of joy. And I believe that that's what this verse is talking about. So how do we sow our tears [00:06:27] Speaker B: to produce this kind of joy? [00:06:30] Speaker A: We pray them. We pray our tears. That's what transforms the weepers. That's, you know, if you read the book, if you read Psalms, so much [00:06:44] Speaker B: of Psalms is about praying our tears. [00:06:47] Speaker A: If we think about the Bible, we think of it as the word of God, what God says to us. But there is one book that is more about what we say to God. It's the Book of Prayers. The Psalms are our prayer book. This is the way that the book has been used for centuries before Jesus. This is the way Jesus used the book, and this is the way the [00:07:09] Speaker B: church has used the book. [00:07:11] Speaker A: And what does this book teach us about prayer? [00:07:15] Speaker B: It invites us to pray all of ourselves to God, pray our anger to God. [00:07:22] Speaker A: It invites us to pray our frustrations to God. It invites us to pray our thanksgiving and praises to God. It invites us to pray our disappointment with God. [00:07:36] Speaker B: It invites us to pray our pain to God and our tears to God. [00:07:44] Speaker A: It invites us to pray all of our emotions, all of who we are to God. Raw as they are messed up, pre organized, pre reflective as we are. That's why I think so many of the Psalms used to bother me. You know, you're reading the Psalms and suddenly it says, crush the heads of my enemies, O Lord. They're raw, emotionally charged and completely open and authentic prayer. They say things that our heads think we shouldn't say, but our hearts are [00:08:25] Speaker B: crying out to say. [00:08:28] Speaker A: They're the prayers of the heart. Let me give you an example. Psalm 39. This is a psalm of lament about injustice, God's discipline and the frailty of human beings. Almost all the psalms of lament, which by the way are about a third to almost a half of the Psalms, end with a note of praise, a note of hope, or, or trust. The psalmist might be complaining to God, how long, O Lord? Where are you, O Lord? Why have you forsaken me, O Lord? But he almost always ends in a note of trust in God. But in Psalm 39, he doesn't follow that structure. So he says in Psalm 39, we'll look at the end of that. Verses 2012-13 Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry. Do not hold your peace at my tears, for I am your passing guest, an alien like all my forbearers. Turn your gaze away from me, that I may smile again before I depart and am no more. [00:09:43] Speaker B: That's the end of that psalm. [00:09:46] Speaker A: The psalm ends in absolute theological incorrectness. He's saying to God, look away from me, turn your face away from me, so I might have a little peace before I die. It ends with such overwhelming feeling that he says exactly the opposite of what [00:10:08] Speaker B: he should say, meaning, has he lost it? [00:10:14] Speaker A: One commentator said the very presence of [00:10:19] Speaker B: such prayer is a witness to God's understanding. God knows how we speak when we are desperate. God understands how we say desperate things. [00:10:34] Speaker A: God understands how we say wrong things. Sometimes God is saying, it's safe to pray your deep thoughts to me where your tears belong. It's not managed, prepackaged, manicured prayer. They belong in a pre reflective outburst from the very depth of your being [00:10:57] Speaker B: in the presence of God. [00:11:00] Speaker A: God says, look at Psalm 39. This isn't the way you're supposed to feel. But I want you to speak and feel in my presence. I want you to understand that I know what it's like to feel desperate. Eugene Peterson, in his book Answering God, talks about three levels of languages. He says, language one is the language of personal intimacy and relationship. It's the language that we learn first. It's the language between a baby and the mother. At first it's just coos, cries, grunting, screams, gurgles out of tune hums, and little mamas and dadas. But it's more than adequate to express complex and profound love and trust. Language too is the language of information. We learn words for things and begin to communicate information. Language two is the major language we use in our lives. Language 3 is the language of motivation. Language could be used for more than delivering information. It could move, dominate, motivate, or even manipulate. The language of our culture are mostly languages 2 and 3. But Eugene Peterson argues that language 1 is the language of the Psalms and the language of prayer. Not exclusively because we blend in in actual use, but mostly. He wrote this. Language 2 and 3 are no less important in a life of faith. [00:12:52] Speaker B: But if they are not embedded in [00:12:54] Speaker A: language one, they become three, thin and gaunt. Because languages two and three are more honored in our culture, our habit is to pray in these more easily handled languages. This is fatal to prayer informational language. It's not prayer language. Motivational language is not prayer language. To pray in these languages is, in effect, not to pray. We must let the Psalms train us to pray in language of. [00:13:25] Speaker B: Of intimacy, of relationship, of I and thou and of personal love. [00:13:33] Speaker A: If we think of our prayers [00:13:37] Speaker B: as [00:13:40] Speaker A: only being polite and positive and filled with gratitude and believe that God wants [00:13:47] Speaker B: us, [00:13:50] Speaker A: believe that that's how we are humble in front of God and that's how we're supposed to interact with God. [00:13:57] Speaker B: We take God to be satisfied with form over what is truly in our heart. With a mere shallow relationship with us. God is not. [00:14:12] Speaker A: Are you satisfied with a shallow relationship [00:14:14] Speaker B: with your spouse, A shallow relationship with your friend? Neither is God. God wants to dialogue with us from our heart. [00:14:26] Speaker A: God wants to relate to us at the most intimate level. Not just some force positive level we think God wants from us. When Grace and I were getting to know each other, we connected at a raw level pretty quickly in what I could call our first date. There's dispute about that. We ended up talking until the cafe closed and they kicked us out. She was struggling with something and she shared the details of the struggle. And I listened to her. I shared and opened up as well. We continued to talk to each other in a very real way. I soon saw her as someone I can share my deepest thoughts thoughts with. And she felt safe enough to share her deepest thoughts with me. I think if we only related to one another in a presentable way, I don't think our relationship would have gone very Far. [00:15:35] Speaker B: And that's precisely the point. [00:15:36] Speaker A: God invites us to come at that raw level, to share the deepest emotions of our hearts and to listen for the deepest desires of God's heart. [00:15:50] Speaker B: Because that's how real love relationships work. God loves us unconditionally, no matter how messed up our hearts are. God wants to meet us where we are, as we are now. Why is God so understanding? [00:16:12] Speaker A: How is it that we can pray like this in front of the most holy God? [00:16:19] Speaker B: Because God came down to earth and became acquainted with sorrow. [00:16:25] Speaker A: In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus said, my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point death. He said, my Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken away [00:16:39] Speaker B: from me yet not as I will, but as you will. Think about that conversation. Think about that prayer. [00:16:47] Speaker A: He was brutally honest with God. He's essentially praying, God, Father, I don't want to go through this. There's another way. [00:17:00] Speaker B: God knows what it's like to look to heaven and feel abandoned because he [00:17:05] Speaker A: prayed on a cross. [00:17:07] Speaker B: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? [00:17:11] Speaker A: It is because Jesus was forsaken for [00:17:14] Speaker B: our sins that we're given the privilege of entering into this intimate fellowship with God. And by the cross, Jesus made it [00:17:24] Speaker A: possible for us to secure in God [00:17:30] Speaker B: so that we can approach God without any makeup, without the right posture, without any pretense, just as we are as messy as we are, even as theologically incorrect as we may be. Yet God understands our tears. God understands our pain. [00:17:52] Speaker A: God understands our brokenness. [00:17:54] Speaker B: God understands, understands the messiness of our hearts. And God is saying to us, pray your tears. Pray your heart as it is come. [00:18:12] Speaker A: That's the first part. [00:18:14] Speaker B: Sowing our tears is praying our tears. But somewhere in our tears, we're called to do something. [00:18:27] Speaker A: We're called to sow. And I believe this means taking a [00:18:33] Speaker B: small step of faith while we are still crying. [00:18:38] Speaker A: It means not waiting until we feel strong, until every question is answered, until [00:18:46] Speaker B: the sadness has gone away. It may mean getting out of bed, going to the doctor, apologizing forgiving, returning to work, or just showing up. Or it could be just standing up for a neighbor, standing up for someone who's marginalized. It's a small act of obedience, not because your tears have disappeared, but because you trust that God could do something with them. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Sometimes we think faith means that we stop crying before we move forward. [00:19:35] Speaker B: But Psalm 126 says something different. [00:19:37] Speaker A: Faith is going forward, sowing with tears. [00:19:44] Speaker B: You go out weeping, carrying seeds. [00:19:47] Speaker A: You do not have to choose between being Honest about your sorrow and taking the next step. You carry both tears in your eyes [00:19:57] Speaker B: and seeds in your hands. And you know what, church? We don't do this by ourselves. Psalm 126 is the testimony of a people. [00:20:12] Speaker A: We were like those who dream. Our mouth was filled with laughter. [00:20:19] Speaker B: When you cannot take that step, the church may carry some seeds for you. Others pray when you cannot pray, sit with you when you have no words and remind you of God's love and grace, when you have forgotten them. And one day, when they're weeping, maybe you walk with them with seeds into the field. [00:20:53] Speaker A: So maybe today your next step is very small. Maybe it's simply to tell somebody, I'm not okay. [00:21:05] Speaker B: I need prayer. Maybe it's to come before God without editing your heart. [00:21:12] Speaker A: Maybe it's to keep doing the ordinary [00:21:16] Speaker B: thing God has put before you. Even with tears in your eyes. [00:21:24] Speaker A: The promise is not that you will never cry. [00:21:29] Speaker B: The promise is that in Jesus your tears are not wasted. Those who sow in tears will weep. Will weep with shouts of joy. Let's pray. We thank you, O Lord, that you are a God who embrace, embraces all [00:21:58] Speaker A: of us, [00:22:01] Speaker B: all of our thoughts and even all of our emotions. And you want a deep relationship with us. So, Lord, I pray that each of us may learn [00:22:20] Speaker A: to be honest with you, may learn to be real with you. And each of us will become vulnerable enough to acknowledge that we're not okay [00:22:33] Speaker B: and seek help from one another. And then, even in those tears, Lord, give us the strength to take that step. Give us the strength to take that small step of sowing with our tears. In Christ's name, amen.