Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Lets pray.
Loving God, please illumine our minds by the power of your Holy Spirit.
As the Scriptures are read and your Word proclaimed, may our eyes see your kingdom. May our ears hear the call of Jesus. May our hearts know the joy of your salvation. We pray in Jesus name. Amen.
This scripture reading this morning comes from the Gospel of John, chapter 21, verses 1 through 19.
Listen for God's word to us.
After these things, Jesus showed himself again to the disciples of the Sea of Tiberias. And he showed himself in this.
Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the twin Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee and two others of his disciples.
Simon Peter said to them, I am going fishing.
They said to him, we will go with you.
They went out and got into the boat. But that night they caught nothing.
Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach. But the disciples did not know that it was Jesus.
Jesus said to them, children, you have no fish, have you?
They answered him, no.
He said to them, cast the net to the right side of the boat and you will find some.
So they cast it.
And now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish.
That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, it is the Lord.
When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes for he was naked and jumped into the lake.
But the other disciples came in the boat dragging the net full of fish. For they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off.
When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there with fish on it and bread.
Jesus said to them, bring some of the fish that you have just caught.
So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore full of large fish. A hundred and fifty three of them. And there were so many, the net was not torn.
Jesus said to them, come and have breakfast now. None of the disciples dared to ask him, who are you?
Because they knew it was the Lord.
Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them and did the same with the fish.
This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these? He said to them, yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
Jesus said to them, feed my lambs.
A second time. He said to him, simon, son of John, do you love me? He said to him, yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
Jesus said to him, tend my sheep. He said to him, the third time Simon, son of John, do you love me?
Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, do you love me?
And he said to him, lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.
Jesus said to him, feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wish.
But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will fasten a belt around you and. And take you where you do not wish to go.
He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.
After this, he said to him, follow me.
This is the word of the Lord.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: Good morning, church.
My name is Kevin Ha. I am part of this church. I have been a part of this church for a couple of years. Years now. Grace and I are so thankful to have found this church.
Now, a few years after I graduated from UC Davis, the college that I went to, I went to visit the church that I went to. While I was there, I met a female student who came up to me and said, you're Kevin Ha. You're a legend.
When you hear that, you go, yeah, you know, I was the student body president at UC Davis, but she said, you're the one who sang the extra Ha in the Hallelujah Chorus during our annual concert. They talk about you every year when we practice.
So I sang with a church choir that performed the Hallelujah Chorus as a finale for their annual concert. It was a big deal.
I sang bass, not tenor, and I sang it confidently.
And you know, when you get to the part at the end of the Hallelujah Chorus, you go, hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah. And then there's a big pause, and then there is that Hallelujah.
I did not pause.
I sang Ha.
I sang it very loudly, confidently. I remember the sound of Ha just resonating through the auditorium.
And you know what? I. You know what my first instinct was?
I did that sinful me.
But everyone knew that it was me.
It was a mistake that I could never forget. Now, it's kind of funny as I look back and I call that my signature moment. My last name is Ha.
But I do regret being overly confident and not adequately paying attention to the music or the score or the conductor.
It was very embarrassing. But this is not a regret that had a big impact in my life.
But there are real regrets in my life that are too personal to share.
I know if we're honest with ourselves, we all carry some level of regret.
And I want to give you a moment as I start my sermon, to allow the Spirit to remind you of a regret in your life. Maybe it was a bad decision. Maybe it was a moral failure.
Maybe your priorities were off. So. So let me just give you a few seconds for the Spirit to speak to you.
Now, how do we deal with our regrets?
This story of Peter's restoration teaches us how to redeem our regrets.
So Peter is a fisherman from Capernaum on the sea of Tiberias, Galilee.
He's the obvious leader of the disciples. He's the one who speaks first, acts first. And sometimes he gets it amazingly right. Sometimes he is way off.
At one point, Jesus asked, who do you say that I am? And Peter confidently says, you are the Messiah. That's the son of the living God.
Jesus affirms him and says, you are Peter. Peter means rock, and on this rock I will build my church.
Peter has tasted what it is to be affirmed and entrusted with something huge.
Peter is also extremely confident of himself and his loyalty to Jesus.
At the Last Supper, when Jesus says, all the disciples, all of you will fall away, Peter says, even if all fall away, I never will.
Essentially saying, I'll stick with you no matter what. I'll die for you.
You can almost hear him say, I love you more than any of these other men. You can count on me.
But Jesus answers, this very night, before the rooster crawls, you will disown me. Three times.
And he does.
In the courtyard of the high priest, around a bonfire with Jesus getting tortured inside the house. Peter denies even knowing Jesus. Three times.
He doesn't just mumble it.
He swears oaths, calls down curses.
Then the rooster crows.
One of the gospels says Jesus looks straight at him. And Peter remembers what Jesus said, and he weeps bitterly.
Have you had a time in your life when you did something you thought you would never do?
You told your love that you would never hurt them, but you did.
You said that you would always be loyal, but you were not.
You said, you're always going to keep clean, but you relapsed. Many times.
You said, you're not going to be angry and yell, but you have.
Many times you said that you were going to do this or that, but you flaked.
Or maybe you just forgot.
I think all of us had experiences when we said we would never do that, but we failed.
That's how Peter felt. And that's the Peter Jesus came to In John, chapter 21, today's passage. After the resurrection, Jesus showed himself to the disciples, ate with them, and Taught them.
And then I'm not sure, but I think he just kind of disappeared.
During the Last Supper, Jesus did say that when he rises again, he will go to Galilee.
So I think that's why disciples went back to Galilee.
And I think they wanted to see Jesus again.
So they go back there. And while they wait, they do what they know how to do. They go fishing.
They fish all night and catch nothing. At daybreak, someone on the shore calls out, children, have you no fish? Have you?
They say, no.
The stranger tells them, cast the net to the right side of the boat and you will find some. And they do. And suddenly the net is bursting with fish. John realizes what is happening and he says, is the Lord Peter being Peter, he jumps into the water and heads straight to Jesus.
This is an interesting story because it's also very similar to something that happened at the beginning of the ministry of Jesus when Jesus called Peter. If you look at Luke chapter five, there's also a night of empty nets on the same lake, same spot, probably followed by Jesus telling them where to cast, followed by an overwhelming catch.
There, Peter falls at the knee of Jesus and says, go away from me, Lord. I am a sinful man.
But Jesus responds, don't be afraid. From now on, you will be fishers of people.
And that's when Peter left everything and followed Jesus.
That was the beginning of the journey.
Peter's response to the catch in Luke 5 always struck me.
I mean, he could have said, wow, it's awesome. You're awesome. You're a miracle man. I would have followed you.
But his response was, go away from me. I am a sinful man.
I think here's what's going on. Jesus didn't call him because he was all good and put together. Jesus called him because he fell and recognized he fell. And his sinfulness, you know, that's what's unique about our faith.
We're not welcomed by God because we have our act all together. We are welcomed when we admit our sins and brokenness and throw ourselves at the mercy and the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
This was the turning point in the moment of life of Peter. This changed everything. He went from being a fisherman to becoming fishers of people. The this is how the journey with Jesus began. And it's interesting that Jesus brings Peter to that moment again.
Why? Why did Jesus do something so similar to the first time he called Peter?
I believe Jesus wants to restore Peter.
Remember, Peter got it right in the beginning, but lately he's been getting cocky.
But after his denials, he came to realize he's not all that he realized. He is broken, he is a coward.
He's as simple as anyone else.
When they reach the shore, there is a bonfire.
John, the author, uses the same rare word for fire that he uses for the fire in the high priest's courtyard.
That detail matters because they want, John is saying, connect those two events.
The last time Peter warmed himself at a bonfire, he was denying Jesus.
Now Jesus was another. Bon has another bonfire going. But this time there's breakfast, there's warmth, there's love, there's food, fellowship.
Jesus is not avoiding Peter's worst moments.
He is walking straight into it and in it, restoring him.
And this is how God often works with us.
We would love to skip over our past failures, pretend that they don't matter.
We might quote verses like the old has gone, the new has come. In a way that really means let's not talk about the past past again.
But Jesus sometimes takes us straight back to the bonfire, to the past, to the painful regrets we rather forget so that we can finally face them with Him.
Why?
Because unprocessed guilt and unconfessed sins don't magically lose their power to just because time passes.
I think this is true for both personal sins and systemic and communal national sins.
These unprocessed sins and unconfessed sins, they just go underground. They shape how we react, how we trust, how we hide.
To truly repent and be healed, we often need to go back with Jesus and look honestly not just to what we did, but at the sin beneath the sin, the distorted loves, the idols, the fears that drove it, the system that enabled it.
For some, I think this might look like the step four in the 12 steps. I don't know if you're familiar with that.
The moral inventory of our lives. It's a deep dive into the details of our self centered lives. And you know, for people who work the steps, the step forward is about the 90% of the 12 steps.
Or for others it might look like a deep confession, introspection or counseling, spiritual direction.
Or maybe a deep conversation with a friend or family member who can help you face your reality.
Not to be condemned by our sins and regrets, but to become humble and to be embraced by God's grace.
After breakfast, Jesus turns to Peter and says, simon, son of John, do you love me? More than these.
Notice Jesus calls him Simon, son of John, his old name, the name from which it's not the name that Jesus named Peter the rock.
It's like Jesus is peeling him Back to, to the core.
Do you love me more than these?
What do you think these refer to?
I don't think he's referring to the fish or the boat or any of that.
Given Peter's earlier boast, even if all fall away, I never will.
Jesus probably meant, do you really love me more than others do?
If you think about it, it's a really sharp question.
Jesus is probing deep into the pride and the heart of Peter and gently and lovingly and embracingly asking him, do you think you're all that.
Peter?
Broken, wounded and humble? Of course he does not and cannot say, yes, of course I love you more than these men.
The old Peter might have, but the broken Peter can't. He answers more simply now, lord, you know that I love you.
He appeals not to his own strength, but to the knowledge of Jesus. You know, Jesus asked Peter three times, do you love me? The threefold question clearly mirrors Peter's threefold denial.
It is Jesus giving Peter the chance to publicly affirm what he once denied, to walk back through the shame, but with a new answer each time. Peter answers with a kind of wounded, humble honesty each time. Jesus responds not with prove it, but with a commission. Feed my lamb. Take care of my sheep. Feed my sheep. Love for Jesus is expressed not in heroic self assertions, but in caring for people he loves.
By the third time Jesus asks, Peter is hurt because the repetition digs down deep into the place of his failure. It brings back the courtyard, it brings back the denials. Jesus is doing a surgery to help him face his regrets and heal him. The only thing Peter can say is, Lord, you know all things. You know that I love you.
This is the voice of the man who has lost confidence in himself, but gained confidence in what Jesus sees and knows.
And that is a crucial shift.
Before, Peter's love was full of self confidence. Now his love is honest and humble. You know me better than I know myself.
You know my weaknesses. You also know that even in the midst of my mistakes, my cowardice, my weaknesses, you know, love you.
This is the kind of love that Jesus can build on.
Let me take this a little closer to our world with an illustration from a recent movie that I watch on Netflix called Wake Up Dead, A knives out mystery. I'm going to spoil the mystery for you. Just kidding. I'm not.
It's a great movie. I think it's one of the best Christian movies I've ever seen, even though it's not meant to be a Christian movie. But anyway, there's a young priest in A movie named Father Judd.
He's not a shiny, perfect religious hero. He has a past. He struggled with addiction, anger, even homelessness. And he once killed a man in a boxing ring.
He's placed at this particular church partly as kind of a discipline for punching a deacon.
Judd. Father Judd is painfully aware that he is a sinner, and yet he clings to this one truth. God loved him and called him in the middle of his guilt.
At one point, he basically says, he loves me when I'm guilty.
That's the ground he stands on. His whole approach to ministry comes out of that. He doesn't see himself as a righteous man to beat the wicked. He sees himself as a forgiven sinner, to serve other sinners, to show broken people like himself the forgiveness and love of Jesus Christ.
In the movie, there's another priest, Monsignor Wicks, who embodies a completely different spirit. Wick's religion is about confidence, pride, power, fear, and control.
Us versus them.
Using the cross as a weapon more than as a sign of mercy. Father Judd sees this as a perversion of the church.
Now, why am I bringing up this story?
Because in a way, Jesus is calling Peter to Judd. Like posture before the cross, Peter is full of spiritual bravado. He's so sure that he's one of the good guys and the strong ones.
After the denial on the beach, he sounds much more like Judd.
He knows he has failed. He knows he's a sinner, and he knows that he's not all that he thought he was.
He's not boasting anymore. All he can say is, lord, you know that I love you.
That's the kind of heart Jesus is looking for. Like Jud, like Peter. And after the fall.
And that's what Jesus is inviting us to.
Not a performance of spiritual strength, but a life of humble, graceful faithfulness that says, lord, you know all things.
You know that I love you. Use even someone like me to care for your sheep.
Score. Back to the story. After Peter's final answer, Jesus not only restores Peter, he entrusts him again with the responsibility. Feed my sheep. And then Jesus goes on even further. He tells Peter that one day he will stretch out his arm and be led where he does not want to go.
A way of saying that Peter's future is in martyrdom.
In other words, you, Jesus is saying, you once boasted that you would die for me, and then you denied me, but by my grace, you will one day be faithful, even to death.
Now, what does this mean for all of us?
Some of Us need to stop running from the bonfire of our past.
Jesus is not trying to condemn you. He's inviting you to walk with him into those memories so that real healing and repentance can happen.
No more cheat grace where you go.
I'm just going to forget about it.
But actually going back and doing the work of repentance.
He wants you to experience deep grace and love.
Some of us need to broaden our definition of the bonfire of our past.
You know, I feel more and more that God is calling us to examine our past, not only personally, but as a community, as a nation, examining our systemic sins, examining.
The issues of the nation, because I'm not sure if we as a nation have ever truly repented of our sins.
Some of us, we need to stop boasting, even inwardly, that we would never.
Recovery, holiness, spiritual maturity, are all fragile if they're built on the assumption that I'm not like those other people.
And all of us need to hear Jesus question as both searching and inviting.
Do you love me not? Have you gotten it? Have you got it all together?
Are you sure you'll never fall again? But just simply, do you love me?
Will you take a moment now to pray with me?
Maybe you could take a moment now in silence to respond to the invitation of the Spirit.
Do you love me?
Lord, by your grace, help us to submit our regrets, our mistakes, our failures, our misplaced priorities into your hands and help us to process them with your love and guide us into way of being that is both humble and confident in your grace, knowing that it is by your grace that we're saved.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
